who said life was easy..

Now I am no Debbie Downer but these past few days have put me in a rut. I think the constant stress of what to do about life and what is the "right decision" is taking a toll on the relationship. It's hard to decide, but at the same time, should you follow your dreams and go where you have always wanted to go? What is there to lose?

I guess in my own defense, my family isn't here anymore.

I am a free-spirited, impulsive decision maker (good and bad all at the same time).

California is where I want to be. It's where we both want to be, or so he says, and I mean. This is the time to go, young, wild, and free. Yes, I am referring to the song.

But the pressure of opportunity, expensive, where will we live, what will we do, haunt the decisions. In my mind, I think THIS is what I want to do, THIS is what we dreamed of, now is the time to make those decisions, not 5 years from now when things are settled.

Now don't get me wrong, I am being super positive and excited and jumping to conclusions but I know it's not as easy as it seems. Then I look at my brother and see that he did it when he moved to Boston and now he loves it. What is there in NJ? Not much, a few close friends that I will still remain friends with even if I leave. I want to pack up my bags so bad and follow my dream. Only if my other half wants to though and there in lies the difficult decision. Will he say yes and we go? Or will he want to stay here. Either way I support it but I know we always talked about leaving one day and after a few thoughts, I am ready to do it.


I want to be there so bad that it hurts..

Huntington Beach Pier.

Thousand Steps Beach in Laguna Beach

Decisions decisions..