an update.

Jan 30, 2013

Although things in my life have changed more than I would have thought in the beginning of this year, I will start the year off in my new life and embrace everything it has to offer.

I have been doing really well and I appreciate all of the help from my family and friends who care about me so much. My support system is more than amazing and I can not put into words how much I love them. Overall, I have been moving on with my life and dealing with it the best way I can. School began last week and it is in full swing right now! Already a few papers due, assignments, quizzes.. the works. It keeps me busy and I love my classes. Really! Why? Because I love the people in them, I love the friends I have in those classes and we all have a blast goofing off and talking, working together; all that jazz. Most of us will be graduating together and it. is. AWESOME. It's like high school graduation where you actually know the people you are graduating with. I can not wait.

The other aspect of my life? Well, let's say we haven't spoken and as much as it hurts I know that space is the best thing for the both of us right now. I don't believe in giving up so easily, but I don't plan on chasing after someone who won't give me the time of day. I am here, I made my peace, and time will only tell. I am a completely different person than who I was before I met him and I love him for that, I love the person I am and how much he helped me to become who I am. There is no grudge and no malice. I appreciate everything for what it is and, like I said, time will tell.

I really really really want to post pictures of Thailand, but at the moment I do not have time to edit pictures and upload them so it will have to wait. Project Life has been put on the back burner. I do not want to finish the end of last year at the moment, I am not ready to look at those pictures of us. I am taking Project Life in a different approach this year, or at least until I graduate.. I will be doing it on a monthly basis, not weekly. I just don't have the time for it (I also need to buy ink).

All is well over here. I hope the same goes for all of you and you enjoy the winter months!

all too well

Jan 24, 2013

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something about it felt like home somehow.
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you still got it in your drawer even now.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
We're singing in the car getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone
And that magic's not here no more
And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all

'Cause there we are again on that little town street.
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me.
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed
Your mother's telling stories about you on the tee ball team
You tell me about your past, thinking your future was me

And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again, in the middle of the night
We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

You can only move forward and appreciate what it was, but in the end you have to move forward for yourself.

i'll be right back.

Jan 13, 2013

Although it may seem like I am MIA from the blog, I'm really not! I swear. Being on vacation is much more enjoyable than writing in my blog (sorry blog, I still love you) so when I return home on the 20th I will be back into blogger mode.. as well as work mode and school mode. When I update again it will be all about my trip in Thailand and how amazingly wonderful it is here getting tan and being in 90 degree weather, not 20 like back in Jersey.

Have a happy January all!

hello 2013. resolutions. & thailand.

Jan 4, 2013

HELLO 2013.

Although it is a few days later, happy new year to everyone! I spent my NYE on a cozy recliner with Steve and Fifa waiting for the ball to drop so I could kiss the two of them. We had spent the entire day driving back from North Carolina after Craig's wedding and we were not up to do much else. When we arrived at my house I repacked my bag for the night so I could spend my NYE with Fifa before I headed off to Thailand.

The wedding was great and I am really happy I was able to drive down there again and watch one of my best friends get married. I don't see him very much or talk as much as I would like but I wouldn't miss his wedding for the world. We went down with another couple and met another friend down there, the 5 of us spent most of our time together. Watching them get married was so adorable, I can not believe how we are all growing up. This year I attended two weddings and four of my friends got engaged. Insane!

I cried when she walked down the aisle with her dad, the music.. it always gets me!

Resolutions.. I fulfilled a few of my resolutions in 2012, not all of them but the most important ones, I think. I saved more money than I intended, which is much better and I am so proud of myself for accomplishing that because I used to be terrible at saving money. I received all straight A's for three semesters. When I said I wanted to get all A's in my classes I thought it was going to be a long shot, but I am so so so happy I stuck with it and accomplished it! I haven't decided yet on my resolutions for 2013, a few but not a ton.

I fulfilled one of my items on my 25 at 25 list, one that I wasn't sure I was going to get done - visit Thailand. It's expensive to get here and the flight is obnoxiously long. My first flight was 14.5 hours and then another 6 hour flight.. I wanted to die. So far jet lag as taken me down a few times and as we speak, I am writing this entry at 2am, but since it is 2pm there it doesn't seem so bad haha. I love it here, the culture is so different and seeing how my parents live now makes me happy. The photos from today are when we visited the orphanage and the monks, the kids are so cute and I wish I could help all of them.

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