it's been a while

this space has changed over the years and when i look back on it all, i see how different of a person i have become in six years.
six years - five or six boyfriends later, not counting the terrible dates in between, three moves, and a marriage. when i started this blog, i wanted to create a space to share my scrapbooking. i wanted to be as good as all of those other project lifers and make someone look at my space and say 'wow.' then i started recipes, moved on to life stuff, home renovations, and now life stuff and photography (maybe!). i could never stick to something because i was constantly trying to keep up with the trending internet i follow so much. now, i need a space for me. to say hell with it on who follows me or who sees it. create an outlet for myself.

my marriage, which is still weird for me to say, is moving. i can't tell if it's moving in a direction that is good or if it's only moving because time is making us continue. and then i think about how is it possible to already be thinking it. we started eight months ago, but before that it was hard. i have a lot of trust issues - a lot of trust issues with boys and drinking and letting myself feel vulnerable. i'm not good with vulnerable. i'm not good with giving up control on my emotions and letting someone else be a factor in how i feel. also, sometimes and probably most of the time; i am terrible at communication, especially when i get mad. i shut down. i don't let myself feel anything and walk away. defense mechanism? we are trying to figure it out; i'm trying to figure it out. marriage is about partnerships and compromises and i'm not really good at that right now. i need to be better because he deserves better. it's just going to take me time. we will get through it together.

samantha cald photography.
cald(well) is my future last name if i decide to change it. i tried to convince him to merge our names and go caldcia but he shot me down, ha.
it sounded catchier than my last name. it has opened a door of new creativity and money out the door! but also in. it has been so so so much fun to photograph and edit these stories and be apart of the lives of people i know and don't know. i got pretty good at it! i've been learning more and can't wait to continue to practice and find ways to interact with clients. i want it to continue. i need to create a website. i started. i changed it. i gave up because i got busy. eventually i'll learn how to do it myself.

and to end on a better note.
here are some photos i took from a styled wedding shoot in upstate new york. it was magical.

vacation in seattle

Over the Christmas break I decided to take Liam to visit my brother and his fiancee. If I hadn't talked about it before, he is not very well traveled in the world and one of my favorite things to do is travel. We spent Christmas Eve with his family and took a flight out on Christmas Day. This has been my fourth trip to Seattle and I would deem it as one of my favorite cities.

The stereotypical Seattle is dreary and rains constantly. Guess what? It's really not that bad. It's actually beautiful in the summer and in the winter, it's less cold than what I am used to so it works for me. It has the seasons and doesn't snow. Yes, it snows but where I live, that isn't really snow. It has so much to do and so much to see. What I love about traveling: food. Yelp is my thing. The nerd in me loves to write food reviews and visit tons of them, it gives me a reason to want to try new places (not that I really need one). In one week, we went from Italian, Thai, Mexican, American, desserts, donuts, and ice cream. Thank god for my metabolism!

But really, it's a beautiful city. Visit sometime.



The market can smell like fish, for obvious reasons but it is so big! It goes down into some stores and has tons of food and flowers. We stopped for some fresh made mini donuts, the line was short and from what my brother says it's normally 30 minutes. Liam stood and watched the guys throwing the fish back and forth, he's like a kid who's never seen anything- it's adorable.






He's super happy, Liam, not the dog (but he is too). He likes to see the world and it's going to be pretty fun to show it and share it with him.

merry belated christmas everyone

Earlier this month we took our annual Christmas photo.
I could not find my remote clicker so most of the pictures were me trying to run around and get in position. The dogs kept going a little crazy and would not stay put for photos. I did buy a new clicker already so future photos will be much easier! This has been a four year tradition for me and the second one for us as a family. I remember being so nervous putting Liam in my Christmas photo because we were serious but we had our bumps in the road. Commitment was difficult for me and putting someone in my card to send out to all of my friends was a big deal! How funny to look back and here we are, we're married!

We spent the holiday eve with his parents and headed to Seattle to visit my brother and future sister-in-law. Liam has never been to the west coast so it was a great way to get started! We hope everyone had a great holiday and has a very happy new year!

xoxo

holiday tree findings

The last few years I have gone out Christmas tree shopping for myself. With the craziness of living between two houses, we decided not to get a tree this year. I picked up a fake tree during Black Friday shopping for my apartment but the Christmas spirit has not been in full effect for me.

A few weeks ago we went out to help a few friends hunt for the perfect Christmas tree for their new home. It would be their first tree in their home, how exciting! For me, it was an opportunity to whip out the camera and actually take some pictures! It was a lot colder than I expected but who doesn't love this weather for Christmas activities! I truly believe I would be confused in warm weather states during the holiday season. Pretty sure I will regret saying that since it was 3 degrees last week.



If there is any one of my friends who loves picking out Christmas tree's it's T. She loves Christmas and wanted their tree to be at least 9-10 feet tall, in person it is gigantic. We were happy to help them pick it out and cut it out!


As we left to take the tree back to the truck, the boys decided it was too much to carry so they wanted to drag it back. T was not having any part of that!

philadelphia christmas market

We spent last Sunday in Philadelphia, hitting up our favorite place IKEA and walking around the city a little. It was a bit chilly so we didn't want to walk around too much, but I love this city and the food.

As we walked around IKEA, I realized how awesome of a husband he really is to me. I was looking for a glass box we had seen at the beginning of the 'tour' but could not find it in the Marketplace. He walked all the way back through the entire store to see where he could get the box. The display was the last box in the store and he had to fill out paperwork to get it. He's seriously the best.


We stopped at LOVE park near the City Hall. I love seeing the hall. It reminds me of my early days of college when we used to go dancing in Philly and drive by this on our way home, hanging out of windows screaming and singing at each other. We walked around the Christmas market looking at all the little shops, trying not to freeze. We bought him the cutest and warmest mittens (it was cold).


Sipped some hot chocolate.
Ate some appetizers aka pretzels.
I appreciate his enthusiasm to everything we do together. He is like a kid who sees new things that I some times take for granted because I have seen it so many times. He sees it from a whole new light and I love it. It makes me appreciate it all more.


Plus, we got see some awesome German sausages being cooked. Not that I eat it but it was still pretty awesome to see it! It was amazing to spend a whole week together after we got married. We got married and spent two weeks apart so it was like a mini honeymoon as he said (there will be a real one).