letting go.

I'm letting go, but I've never felt better.
Passing by all the monsters in my head ♥
      - Slow and Steady - Of Monsters And Men

I love this song. I listen to it almost everyday.
I have a playlist of songs that have helped me get through this mess. Some make my heart ache because I still wonder what could I have done differently and some bring me to the reality that I am doing just fine without you. That maybe what people say is right, I am better off and one day I will look back and realize it was the best thing.

I deserve more.
I deserve better.
I am worth more than I ever thought.

My past relationships have always had some lessons learned. I need to learn to stop always thinking about the other person first when it isn't reciprocated. I need to learn to take care of myself and enjoy who I am without losing myself in someone else's life.

We accept the love we think we deserve.
This weekend I watched Perks of Being a Wallflower and this was one of my favorite quotes. I think I deserve more. I deserve to find someone who will understand me and make me feel good about myself. I deserve to find someone who will do the things I love because it makes them happy too. And he did at times, but things changed. We changed.

I am finding myself through all of this. And I love it.
I am being bold and going after what I want. And it paid off.
There's other fish in the sea.


I closed a chapter of my life today and as I drove away crying, I took a breath and could feel the heaviness of it all disappear.
I love him and I appreciate him, so much more this past week or two, because I let go. I was able to look back and finally not care. I stopped caring about why. It really doesn't matter why. Nothing will change and as much as I had hoped for months that things could change and I could be that girl to make him happy, it wasn't going to happen. I can not make someone love me and I shouldn't have to convince someone to either.
I am so happy to say goodbye, and maybe hello again in the future.


So I stopped thinking about him and started thinking about someone else.
And that cheesy butterfly feeling came back.
We accept the love we think we deserve.

And I deserve to be happy.