what we deserve

I've mentioned this before and it was brought up again today in random conversation.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Well, we all deserve to be happy.
You should never let someone treat you as though you are second best.
You are beautiful and worth so much more.

Do not ever let someone make you feel as though you are worthless.

I have been in that situation where nothing I did seemed good enough. No matter what I did I couldn't seem to do right by him and I felt so small.
College was not that long ago and yet, I can't believe how much I have grown and learned since that time.

I told myself I would never put myself in that situation again.
I met someone who made me feel good about myself. He never made me believe I couldn't trust him. I wasn't the crazy girl I was in college.

Then I stumbled upon someone who had good looks and charm.
But I quickly realized it was a young boys game and I didn't want to play.
So I walked away.

We accept the love we think we deserve.


You always deserve someone who will treat you right.
But you don't need anyone to make you feel good.
I didn't need someone to toy with me and then I realized just how much I've grown since college.

Enjoy the loneliness.
Enjoy your own company.
Love who you are without someone else.

updated: 25 at 25.

1. Go to Dylan's Candy Bar
2. Spend some time volunteering I wanted to do more but Rutgers Day was still a blast to help out.
3. Take a walk through Central Park
4. Visit Thailand
5. Eat healthier with a few cheats
6. Better my photography skills: food, couples, outdoor, people
7. Visit my brother in Boston at least twice He moved to Seattle so scratch that!
8. Read 10 more books (+ the 7 for my NYR)
(granted some are cheesy romance novels but who cares! The Last Lecture, Tuesday's with Morrie, The Time Keeper, Beautiful Disaster, Thoughtless, Effortless, The Omnivore's Dilemma, The Art of Racing in the Rain, The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden, The Edge of Never)
9. Eat out at 15 new vegan/vegetarian places
(so far Life Alive, Lovin' Oven, Sticky Fingers, The Cinnamon Snail, HipCity Veg)
10. Throw a party and decorate everything
11. See a Broadway show
12. Bake and decorate a cake
13. Teach Fifa roll over
14. Take a graphic design class
15. DIY 10 craft projects seen on Pinterest
16. Buy a new wardrobe
17. Bake a vegan cheesecake
18. Go to a concert (bought Taylor Swift tickets for July!)
19. Attend a food festival
20. Walk through the 9/11 Memorial
21. Try more vegan bakeries I'd like to try more but this one is one I had been dying to go to!
22. Get colorful mani/pedis
23. 365 year 25 (iPhone, DSLR, point-and-shoot) - I am trying again
24. Be more creative
25. Move out into my own apartment


I would say that I did a decent job on my list considering I was working a full-time job and taking on a full class schedule. The one I wish I had done the most? The new 15 vegan/vegetarian restaurants. I lost my partner in crime who went with me and none of my friends are willing to go, because they suck. Just kidding.

This year I am going to go without a list and just enjoy the spontaneity of my life. I will finally be finished with classes after 4th of July. One summer class with two of my good friends, piece of cake. So here it goes with just having a good time with good friends and spending as much time at the beach as I possibly can.

happy birthday

I turned 26 today.
And it was calm and great day.

I look back and enjoyed 25.
I know 26 is going to be even better.
Optimism is always good.

I had a great birthday.
The people in my life are amazing.
I have truly amazing friends.


Happy birthday to me.
Here's to 26!

a list of twenty-five: what life was like at twenty-five

As I say goodbye to 25, I look back and I love it.
Even through the terrible events that occurred in my life, I understand that all things happen for a reason. When we embrace change we find exactly what we need and in my case, I found myself. My birthday last year amazing and I thank Steve for spoiling me with NYC, Central Park, and RENT. He made my 25th birthday exactly what I wanted and I love him so much for it. He helped me in so many ways I can not even count. I hope that I gave him as much as he had given me. Now that I am going to start a new year of my life, I can't help but smile when I look back.

1. I finished my last semester as a graduate student.
2. I moved home and saved money so I could start my own future; eventually.
3. Found my female best friend and watched her get married.
4. Vacationed in Thailand, amazing.
5. Went to a total of 3 weddings. All great.
6. Catered a wedding with 125 vegan cupcakes.
7. Made some amazing new friends and rekindled with old ones.
8. Went on a first date for the first time in three years.
9. Weathered through a ridiculous hurricane.
10. Visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
11. Took my first trip into the city alone.
12. Spent time with Steve and I loved every minute we shared together.
13. Became more responsible with juggling school, work, and being a dog mom.
14. The love of my life broke my heart.
15. I picked myself up and began enjoying my life.
16. Fell in love with Instagram.
17. Dreamed of moving to California more than anything
18. Broadened my musical horizon to more mellow
19. Consistently worked out for the first time, I have abs!
20. Traveled, not always far but it's okay
21. Began job searching for a new career
22. Stuck to being a vegetarian out and about, but eat vegan at home. I still love it.
23. Realized how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life
24. Found my bubbly, outgoing personality again
25. Happy. It was overall happy.

Yes, there were rough patches, but who doesn't have those? I loved twenty-five. I know I am going to love twenty-six.

may goals

Graduate. Graduate. Graduate.
Apply. Apply. Apply.
Continue to work out - lower abs please show up.
Catch up on Project Life. I am so behind!
Enjoy spending crazy nights with good friends.

Really, these goals are not that hard, but I am keeping it simple.

My head has been clouded these past few weeks with finishing school, work, and playing games with someone I don't want to play games with. I am getting my head straight and forgetting the pettiness. I don't need it. I am too old and too busy to deal with boys. Over it. As one of my friends put it: only put energy into people who put the same out.

Graduation is 17 days away.
I start applying to jobs today. I told myself May 1st I would begin. So here I go.
I am only 25 for one more week. I will never be 25 again. I will be starting 26 and loving every minute of it. I am going to be twenty-six! And I look about 17. Oh well.

I bought my graduation dress. I love it.
I bought a dress for Atlantic City graduation celebration/birthday celebrations. If I do say so myself, I clean up nicely ;)

May is going to be a fantastic month.